My Dear, We're Slow Dancing in a Burning Room...

I officially love the new John Mayer CD, Continuum, and that title is the name of one of his songs from that album. I thought I would have to listen to the cd several times to like it since I knew he was switching up his style again, but I was wrong-I like this new type of music for him, and I enjoyed the cd right away. I bet I just didn't like Vultures as much on the music video because there is nothing more in the video than them playing the song.

Anyway, that's not the point of this post. The point actually ties into the title, which is about a couple that is hanging on to a love that is going to burn out-and they both know it. I kind of feel like that is what is happening all around me. When I was a senior in high school, everyone told me and Tom that we would never make it through college-especially since we were going to be at separate schools for 4 years, but we were determined. Our freshman year wasn't easy-more like an uphill fight to keep our relationship going, but once we realized we were willing to fight that hard to make it work (and realized God was really behind this relationship-because we never would have made it if it hadn't been His will), it got easier. We made it through, and it's been easier since then.

But it still freaks me out a little bit when other couples don't make it. I know that sounds weird. It's not like I am judging other couples-I don't know everything about other people's relationships, and I think that if they break up, it's probably because that is what they should have done. It's just that it sucks to see people that wanted the same thing that Tom and I wanted ending up going down the way people always say couples will. Whether it's couples that started dating in high school or at the beginning of college, it seems like a ton of my friends have broken up lately, both at UGA and at other schools. I feel so bad, because I want to make them feel better and be there for them, but I don't even know what to say-I just imagine how much it would hurt if Tom and I broke up. And I realize that this must be somewhat what if feels like to people my parents age when their friends end up getting divorced. The statistics are against you all, but it still shakes you when one of your friends ends up on the receiving end of that negative statistic-they're hurt, and it shakes you because you know that no one goes into a relationship expecting it to end. But relationships do end. They seem great, they go on for years, and then someone changes-usually both someones change, but they don't necessarily change together. And then the chemistry is different...it's too hard, or it's just not what they signed up for or who they thought they would be, and it's over. It's freaking me out.

Not that I think it will happen to me and Tom, just that...I don't know...It changes things for everyone. Robert Lee said to me and Tom the other day that if we broke up that we wouldn't have to get over it because the universe would have exploded and no one would be around to sympathize. It made us laugh, but it also made me think, because for the people going through that, their "world" did change. And it changes for the people around them. You have to adjust to your friends as they see themselves in a newfound light. They are going through pain, and you have to feel their pain a little bit if you want to be able to support them. And you have to be able to understand a little bit of their surprise at the end of it all, even if everyone knew it was coming-even if they knew it was coming. And you have to try to balance the relationships so that no one feels an alliance of friends to one of those individuals and not the other. It's hard, and it's awkward, and it's sad for them, and so it's a little bit of all of that for their friends. And it's even more awkward and hard to adjust when those individuals finally start to move on-or date other people. You want them to be happy, but it's hard to adjust to the idea of them with anyone other than that person they've always been with. And it's especially hard if one person gets over it or moves on more quickly than the other person.

I didn't intend for this post to be so down, it's just that I was listening to that song in the car, and I realized I had a list of close friends that have had to call it quits on their long-term relationship in the last year. That song is realistic in the way that couples have fights, so it really has always stood out to me as just kind of raw and honest. These situations are kind of sad, and I just had to write it out because when I keep it to myself, it makes me all uncomfortable inside. I get over my nervousness by talking it out. That's how I do things.

Love,
Meghan

Slow Dancing in a Burning Room, by John Mayer

It's not a silly little moment,
It's not the storm before the calm;
This is the deep and dyin breath of
this love we've been workin on
Can't seem to hold you like I want to
so I can feel you in my arms
Nobody's gonna come and save you
we pulled too many false alarms

We're goin down
and you can see it too
We're goin down
and you know that we're doomed
my dear
we're slow dancing in a burnin room

I was the one you always dreamed of
you were the one i tried to draw
how dare you say it's nothin to me
baby, you're the only light I ever saw

I make the most of all the sadness
you'll be a b**** because you can
you try to hit me just to hurt me
so you leave me feelin dirty 'cause you can't understand

We're goin down
and you can see it too
We're goin down
and you know that we're doomed
my dear
we're slow dancing in a burnin room

Go cry about it why don't you
Go cry about it why don't you
Go cry about it why don't you
my dear, we're slow dancin in a burnin room
don't you think we oughta know by now
don't you think we shoulda learned somehow
don't you think we oughta know by now
don't you think we shoulda learned somehow