Ok Ladies. Your Turn.

Henry wanted me to be fair, so he sent me this.
__________________________________

Summer Classes for Women at the Learning Center For
Adults

Registration Begins May 15 and ends May 22. Schedules
will be awarded on
a first come first serve basis. Maximum class size
this summer has been
lowered to 15 from 20 due to recurring problems of
talking during
lessons.Classes begin the 29th of May and each class
session will last
approximately one hour. The following classes will be
offered:

Class 1

Sports - A Full Discussion of Sports and The
Implications of Interruptions
Meets Mondays at 6PM for 4 weeks.

Class 2

A Step By Step Guide to Car Care - Includes Washing,
Changing Tires, AND
Checking the Oil
Meets Mondays at 2PM for 4 weeks. Bring grubby
clothes. Yep, you'll get
dirty.

Class 3

The Lost Practice of Female Punctuality - Brief
History Lessons Followed
by SBOT (Strategies for Being On Time)
Meets Tuesdays for 4 weeks at 5:42PM - Every class
begins with a test.

Class 4

_Managing_ YOUR Money - A CounterClass to the common
theme of Spending
Your Man's Money. Class will cover many topics ranging
from how to cut
up credit cards, to balancing a check book, and even
how to conceptually
understand that if you purchase something on sale, you
didn't save any
money at all like you thought! You actually spent
money!
Meets Tuesdays at 8PM for 8 weeks. Be prompt in your
arrival as their is
much material to cover.

Class 5

WDW (Whiner's Don't Win) - A linguistics class that
clearly explains how
to improve reception of requests simply by how you say
it. Studies show
it makes a huge difference!
Meets Wednesdays at 6PM for 4 weeks

Class 6

Guy Time - It's Not a Request...It Just Is
A classroom guide not to understanding what Guy Time
means, but merely
how to understand that it is going to happen on
occasion whether you
like it or not, and you can be OK with it and work it
into your schedule.
Meets Wednesdays at 8PM for 6 weeks

Class 7

How to Cure Chronic Headaches - We know you get them
every other hour of
every day and you can't seem to help it. We'll teach
you how to get rid
of them by a simply practice known as Ignoring the
Pain. Class will
include anatomical pictures of females head, showing
the Headache
Generator section of the brain.
Meets Thursdays at 9AM for 4 weeks

Class 8

Master Safe Driving Skills - Despite passing the
driver's license exam,
we all know you can't drive. We'll begin with the
basics ranging from
how and when to use your indicator, what all those
mirrors are for, and
also what it means when you see the red lights on the
car in front of
you. As the class progresses, skills will become more
advanced,
including topics such as merging onto the highway
without fatalities,
navigating one-way streets, and even learning who goes
first at a 4-way
stop!
Meets Thursdays in the Parking Lot at 10AM for 6 weeks

Class 9

How to Parallel Park (Class 8 required previously or
in conjunction with
this class as a prerequisite) -  We know you passed
the driver's license
road test, but getting one and a quarter wheels into
the spot does not
constitute parallel parking. After the class, you can
impress your man
with REAL, SAFE driving skills.
Meets Thursdays in the Parking Lot at 10 AM for 6
weeks (immediately
follows Class 8)

Class 10

Workshop Class - Learning to use everyday tools such
as a screwdriver, a
hammer, and if there's time; we might discuss the
functions and proper
use of a tape measure.
Meets Thursdays at 2PM for 4 weeks

Class 11

When to Talk and When to Shut Up - Yes, there's a time
for both.
Although most women think its always Time to Talk;
we'll teach you the
telltale signs from your man to realize what "Time" it
is. We promise it
will impress your man, and make you a happier, more
concise person.
Meets Fridays at 6PM for 6 weeks

Class 12

Club G.R.O.S.S. - What is it and how to avoid being
labeled a "Slimy Girl."
Before beginning the class, those interested will be
required to read
several Calvin and Hobbes comics showing the
origination, purpose, and
relevance of Club G.R.O.S.S.
Meets Fridays at 8PM for 5 weeks


Due to last year's difficulty in keeping students
attention and making
them not talk during class, we will not be offering
the usual 15
courses. However, we have decided that we will extend
the required
summers of attendance from 4 to 5, so that graduates
will still have the
necessary knowledge that should be gained from these
courses. Our
congratulations to all 3 of the graduates from last
year. May their
success be inspiration to you new-comers. We look
forward to seeing you
in May!