Fall Break

I reallllly needed that fall break, and I wish it wasn't over....back to reality. *sigh* That means for this week that I have meetings and psych research and a cog psych test, a drama quiz, and a Spanish presentation-and it's only Monday. I should be on a bus right now, but instead, I'm in my apartment because I have what might be a stomach virus from playing with my niece Madeline yesterday, who had the same oh-so-lovely symptoms.

Over the break, Mom and I looked at reception sites online, and we visited the Vines Botanical Gardens in Logansville. It was beautiful, but expensive, so we'll have to see. I have a lot more places I want to look before I'll pick a place. It would be awesome to know already, though. I plan to wait on picking a dress for myself until next semester...I don't know what new styles will be coming out with the spring, and I don't want to pick something out now only to regret it later. But I need to get it early enough to have it altered since nothing is ever the perfect length on my short body. I also signed up with the wedding channel (.com) and made a website for Tom and myself: http://pattonandmcfarlin.weddings.com so feel free to check it out! As we know more, we will add info-where things will be held, hotel info for out-of-towners, registry info, wedding party info and pictures, and more. For now, it mostly has a welcome page, a how we met/how we got engaged page, and a page with pictures of our matron of honor and best man (Kristen and Ben). Anyway, it's all underway, and the more I think about it, the more I realize how many decisions I have to make. There are a ton of details!

I went to the PAC homecoming game with Tom, Ben, Henry, and Dana on Friday night, and it was fun to see some of our old teachers and to finally talk about being engaged as excited instead of correcting people to tell them that we aren't. Now we don't have to worry about the rumor mill stirring up engagement stories for the two of us!

On Saturday I had the "joy" of watching GT pull a win out of their behinds over Miami and of hearing Tech fans talk about UGA being beaten in Jacksonville. yay. I also got to see Jim and Mandy and Elizabeth-she is such a cute little girl! She's teething, so she puts EVERYTHING in her mouth to chew on it-not least of her favorites to eat when I held her was my hair. haha At least she didn't spit up on me.

Sunday, we had sherry chicken, rice, green bean casserole, corn off the cob, crescent rolls, jello, and brownies with ice cream for dessert. YUM! One of my VERY favorite meals! You can bet I brought those leftovers back to Athens with me. Tom came over for lunch, and we had fun playing with Tyler and Madeline. Anna Kate didn't get up until after Tom left, but she is SO cute, and she was actually smiling every now and then at Lisa. It was so sweet. I got a half grin out of her when I was talking to her. =) She is a beautiful baby, and she seems to favor the Jackson looks more than Patton looks, which is different than Tyler and Madeline.

And now it's Monday; I'm back at school, sitting at my computer in bathrobe and looking awful. lol I don't think I'm going to make it past my apartment doors today since I don't want to deal with this virus or bug or whatever in public. Oh the joys of going back to school. hah
Love,
Meghan

Isn't it ironic...dontcha think?

I just think it's weird that the last two posts are back to back. I mean...I dunno. From breakups and downers to engagement and uppers. Irony.

And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, the act you've been waiting for...

I'm engaged! I'M ENGAGED! I'M REALLLLLLLLY ENGAGED!!!!!!!!!!!! It feels so crazy that I am at this point in life. I'm SO excited. It was almost a week ago, and it still hasn't completely sunk in. I told my sorority sisters tonight, and it was so overwhelming-3 years ago I was 18 and listening to seniors tell their engagement stories, thinking-wow, I wonder if I'll get to do that!? And I just did. Right after initiation, I told about 185 girls (some weren't there) that I was engaged, that I have a sparkling diamond ring on my finger and a promise from my perfect guy in my heart. I'm so happy, I could burst. =) To read Tom's side of it or see pictures, you can visit his blog. To hear my side of the story, from an email I sent out earlier, you can read below!

Most of you know that Tom and I got engaged on Friday, Oct. 13!! But I just wanted to send out the story as well as a picture so yall could see how beautiful the day was and what an amazing job Tom did!! =)

Tom told me that we had dinner reservations for 5:00pm on Friday at a restaurant that we hadn't been to before, so I was excited about trying somewhere new. He said he wanted it to be a surprise, so he didn't tell me where it would be. After I drove to Atlanta (that took a couple hours due to traffic), I got changed at his apartment to go out to a nice restaurant. Then we drove to some random paylot, and he told me we had to walk the rest of the way. I was just trying to figure out where we were going, and before I know it, we were in Centennial Park. I had never been there before, but always wanted to go, so I was pretty excited to walk through it.

It was really pretty-about 5, and the sun wasn't set but was getting there-kind of a golden color. And we walked over to the fountains and then Tom stopped walking (so I did too). He asked me if I ever read over the emails that we sent back and forth when I was in Costa Rica this summer, and I said that I hadn't. He said there was something in them he wanted me to see, and then out of no where appear these papers. They ended up being some of our emails. He had blurred out the words from the emails except in the paragraphs that were important for me to read, and in those paragraphs, he had circled the important words. The first email had lyrics from a song that we both love that came out in high school:

Those notes you wrote me
I've kept them all
I've given a lot of thought of how to write you back this fall
With every single letter in every single word
There will be a hidden message about a boy that
loves a girl

He circled "this fall" and "hidden message." Then there was only one word circled per email after that, making up: "I" + "wanna" + "get" + "engaged" (about here I stopped reading and he had to tell me to keep going) + "tonight." I think I quit breathing for a minute or two, but Tom didn't-he proposed! =) With the light shining through the fountain, you should have seen the way that ring looked!! It's so beautiful!!!

Then a random guy from Maryland who is in town of a convention told us that he was taking pictures of the fountain when it happened, and would we like him to email them to us? And of course we said yes, and he took some more "staged" engagement photos too. So, I am really looking forward to getting those. Then Tom told me that we were going to eat at The Sundial, a restaurant that revolves at the top of The Westin, giving an amazing view of the city. We had gone there for his 16th birthday, again at 18 for his brother's (Ben's) 16th birthday, and again when we were sophomores in college. We both love that restaurant, so it was perfect! And we could even see where he proposed from our seats!! I was still shaking, even after we ate. =)

He told me then that the night wasn't over and that I had to follow him in my car to another surprise. We went back to his apartment for my car, and then I followed him back to my parents' house-where my mom and dad, and his, and Ben, were all waiting for us with chocolate cake and champagne!! It was so nice to get to share the night with family! And then I noticed a picture (the one attached) of us in front of the fountains, sitting in a frame on the table. I was so confused as to how they got it, and I asked if the Maryland guy really was a plant. He wasn't, but Tom had gotten one of his fraternity brothers to hide in the park with a hat and glasses so I wouldn't see him, and he took our picture from a distance. He had lab, so he didn't get out there until we were doing the "staged engagement" for the Maryland guy, but it is a GREAT picture-it shows off how awesome the location Tom chose was.

Overall, Tom made such a big deal of it, and I felt SOOO special! It was perfect for us, and I am so happy, and I know that I am SOOO blessed to get to marry such an amazing guy. God definately has blessed us.

I hope all is well with all of yall, and let me know how yall are doing!
Love,
Meghan

And that is about the whole shebang! I'm really excited, and I am so glad I can finally share it with everyone!
Love,
Megs

My Dear, We're Slow Dancing in a Burning Room...

I officially love the new John Mayer CD, Continuum, and that title is the name of one of his songs from that album. I thought I would have to listen to the cd several times to like it since I knew he was switching up his style again, but I was wrong-I like this new type of music for him, and I enjoyed the cd right away. I bet I just didn't like Vultures as much on the music video because there is nothing more in the video than them playing the song.

Anyway, that's not the point of this post. The point actually ties into the title, which is about a couple that is hanging on to a love that is going to burn out-and they both know it. I kind of feel like that is what is happening all around me. When I was a senior in high school, everyone told me and Tom that we would never make it through college-especially since we were going to be at separate schools for 4 years, but we were determined. Our freshman year wasn't easy-more like an uphill fight to keep our relationship going, but once we realized we were willing to fight that hard to make it work (and realized God was really behind this relationship-because we never would have made it if it hadn't been His will), it got easier. We made it through, and it's been easier since then.

But it still freaks me out a little bit when other couples don't make it. I know that sounds weird. It's not like I am judging other couples-I don't know everything about other people's relationships, and I think that if they break up, it's probably because that is what they should have done. It's just that it sucks to see people that wanted the same thing that Tom and I wanted ending up going down the way people always say couples will. Whether it's couples that started dating in high school or at the beginning of college, it seems like a ton of my friends have broken up lately, both at UGA and at other schools. I feel so bad, because I want to make them feel better and be there for them, but I don't even know what to say-I just imagine how much it would hurt if Tom and I broke up. And I realize that this must be somewhat what if feels like to people my parents age when their friends end up getting divorced. The statistics are against you all, but it still shakes you when one of your friends ends up on the receiving end of that negative statistic-they're hurt, and it shakes you because you know that no one goes into a relationship expecting it to end. But relationships do end. They seem great, they go on for years, and then someone changes-usually both someones change, but they don't necessarily change together. And then the chemistry is different...it's too hard, or it's just not what they signed up for or who they thought they would be, and it's over. It's freaking me out.

Not that I think it will happen to me and Tom, just that...I don't know...It changes things for everyone. Robert Lee said to me and Tom the other day that if we broke up that we wouldn't have to get over it because the universe would have exploded and no one would be around to sympathize. It made us laugh, but it also made me think, because for the people going through that, their "world" did change. And it changes for the people around them. You have to adjust to your friends as they see themselves in a newfound light. They are going through pain, and you have to feel their pain a little bit if you want to be able to support them. And you have to be able to understand a little bit of their surprise at the end of it all, even if everyone knew it was coming-even if they knew it was coming. And you have to try to balance the relationships so that no one feels an alliance of friends to one of those individuals and not the other. It's hard, and it's awkward, and it's sad for them, and so it's a little bit of all of that for their friends. And it's even more awkward and hard to adjust when those individuals finally start to move on-or date other people. You want them to be happy, but it's hard to adjust to the idea of them with anyone other than that person they've always been with. And it's especially hard if one person gets over it or moves on more quickly than the other person.

I didn't intend for this post to be so down, it's just that I was listening to that song in the car, and I realized I had a list of close friends that have had to call it quits on their long-term relationship in the last year. That song is realistic in the way that couples have fights, so it really has always stood out to me as just kind of raw and honest. These situations are kind of sad, and I just had to write it out because when I keep it to myself, it makes me all uncomfortable inside. I get over my nervousness by talking it out. That's how I do things.

Love,
Meghan

Slow Dancing in a Burning Room, by John Mayer

It's not a silly little moment,
It's not the storm before the calm;
This is the deep and dyin breath of
this love we've been workin on
Can't seem to hold you like I want to
so I can feel you in my arms
Nobody's gonna come and save you
we pulled too many false alarms

We're goin down
and you can see it too
We're goin down
and you know that we're doomed
my dear
we're slow dancing in a burnin room

I was the one you always dreamed of
you were the one i tried to draw
how dare you say it's nothin to me
baby, you're the only light I ever saw

I make the most of all the sadness
you'll be a b**** because you can
you try to hit me just to hurt me
so you leave me feelin dirty 'cause you can't understand

We're goin down
and you can see it too
We're goin down
and you know that we're doomed
my dear
we're slow dancing in a burnin room

Go cry about it why don't you
Go cry about it why don't you
Go cry about it why don't you
my dear, we're slow dancin in a burnin room
don't you think we oughta know by now
don't you think we shoulda learned somehow
don't you think we oughta know by now
don't you think we shoulda learned somehow

I need a nap

I have been passing out on my bed totally wiped out often lately, and when I wake up in the morning, I feel like I don't have any energy. I don't go out and party at night...so I've come to this conclusion: I keep putting off studying every weekend until I am back at school, then I am up to hours that are just not decent in an attempt to catch up. This goes on all week, I am committed to too many other things throughout the week meaning I do my homework when I should be sleeping and do group things when normal people do homework, and by the weekend, I am so sick of school I just want a few days to not think about it. And the vicious cycle continues. So I need to get over the not wanting to think about it on the weekends thing so I can have a normal sleeping pattern.

I just finished a lab practical for Cognitive Psych, and I have a paper due tomorrow for that class and I also have to do part of a paper for my Social Psych group, and I have a test in Social Psych on Thursday. Before doing the lab practical, I was at Mary Caroline and Anne Marie Armstrong's school, Prince Avenue Christian School, because Mary Caroline is the Star Student this week, and Jennie has a "surprise guest" coming to eat with her every day for lunch. Today was my day, but I was (surprise, surprise) late to get out there, so I grabbed my food and went outside to the playground to eat while she and her classmates had recess. I talked to her teachers and classmates and got to know some of the people that she sees every day, so that was interesting. She showed me the classroom and wanted me to stay through class, but I had work to do, so I had to leave. You should have seen their faces when I told them I would be in class until 6:15 pm today. It was hilarious. They are in 2nd grade, so for most of them that is me being in class until about 2 hours before they go to bed. haha I was definately feeling like a grown up since they all called me a "guest," got me a chair to sit in with the teachers, let me walk ahead of them, and whatever else. It was kind of weird, but kind of like being "the cool kid" so I found it amusing. =)

I feel as if this semester is FLYING by. It's crazy...I mean, I just got back from Costa Rica, and all of a sudden, it's almost Halloween. It's halfway through my second to last semester of college, and I can't believe I'm at this point in life. I feel again such an uncertain feeling in my life...like I KNOW I don't have any control...about my future after graduation. Even when I was a senior in High School, I knew that logically I had options, but I only wanted one. Thankfully, that is what God wanted for me too, so I went to UGA. But now, I feel like I only want one type of job, and what if I don't get it? I don't know what else I would really enjoy doing. I am praying for God to be over it, but it still weighs on me. A lot of people (believe it or not) want to work with exotic animals, and only a few jobs are open to them. I don't have a 4.0...I mean, my GPA is ok, but it's not amazing, so I feel like God is going to have to just really open the doors for me if I am going to get a job at Zoo Atlanta. I know I have the determination, desire, and attitude that would do well there, but I have to get past the interviews to prove it. And I have to get an interview first. One step at a time, I guess. I just guess it's strange to feel like my world is changing again, into something I've never done before, into something that will change my life. That's huge. But God is bigger, so I guess I have nothing to worry about. What a relief. =)
I have to go to Spanish Lit,....then Social Psych, then Cog Psych Lab. Then Pref Singers. Then spend hours doing papers and studying. This work entails: Acting Journal due with 24 entries, Paper due for Cognitive Psych, Intro part of paper due for Social Psych, Quiz for Acting, Quiz for Spanish, meeting with two teachers to talk about different paper topics, Social Psych Exam. And that's just the academic part. I am so tired.
Please, pray for me!
Love,
Meghan
ps- I got a new picture from a friend who went to Costa Rica with me. It was taken on a mountain when we were on a taxi ride from town to our homestays and had him pull over for picture. It's at the top of the page.=)